I remember the moment like it was yesterday. I had this sneaky inkling that just maybe the role that I’d been striving to get for over 4 years, was not going to deliver all I had hoped it would for me. I had not even started my new position yet. I was attending a leadership keynote with my mentor at the time as well as other senior leaders of the organisation. I felt excited and nervous at the same time, not only to be invited to this event but to be amongst this esteemed company.
I sat down and introduced myself to the person I was seated next to. As the pleasantries always tend to go, they shared their name and role and asked what I did for a living. I shared my promotion to the role, my eagerness to get ‘stuck in’ and that it had been a long time coming and a lot of work to get to this position, finally. I was met with a lacklustre response that stifled my excitement: “I used to be in that role – it was horrible, the worst job I’ve ever done – lonely and with huge, often unrealistic expectations and workload.”
I tried to brush off the comments, thinking to myself that the same experience surely wouldn’t present itself for me. But I felt wildly uneasy at the same time.
Yet, on I surged and dove headfirst into the role. I was conditioned to believe that my success and self-worth were based on my income and my position. The higher up the career ladder I climbed, the more I took on, the busier I was, the more respect I’d gain. I suppressed any feelings or signs that surfaced that contradicted this conditioning. My mindset was such, that I started to believe that there was something wrong with me and that was why I wasn’t happy, or getting any sense of satisfaction as I imagined I would in the role. Ignoring my intuition, I just kept pushing harder and harder, striving more and more, hoping something would eventually just “click”.
After 3 years of unknowingly being burnt out from my job. But sadly at the time, not having the intuitive ability to even realise this as I’d never noticed any of the synchronistic signs. Now on reflection, these signs were screaming at me and so plain to see. The role and my happiness in it, never did click.
My awakening to what my soul and true self needed took a while to evolve and bloom.
During the misery I was experiencing in my role, synchronicities and coincidences had started to happen, but it wasn’t until I finally took action that I truly became aware and open. Once I finally decided for the sake of my mental health to step back – my eyes were opened to seeing these divine interventions. I was also transported back to the initial uneasy feeling and signs that I should not have ignored, but that I did ignore.
Within a day of my decision and without any “outcome” to be fulfilled, I followed my heart and did what felt good at the time and I signed up to complete my yoga teacher training. I didn’t know where this would lead, but the feeling of being surrounded by like-minded humans, doing something that ignited my soul, cracked me wide open. As if my flood gates to leading a more synchronistic life had been burst open. Like as is taught in the Bhagavad Gita and that I’d learned on the yoga mat on so many occasions: ‘Let not the fruit of your action be your motive for action. Your business is with action alone, not with the
fruit of action.’
Although my decision to step away from my role had been made and I’d taken a step, my whole plan needed to be figured out. Well so I thought. Then I fell pregnant.
At last, there was no longer any pushing or striving. Subconsciously I knew that things were no longer in my control and I was forced to let go of outcomes. Instinctively, as I prepared to enter the season of motherhood my priorities shifted. I knew deep down that the only thing that mattered was to ensure I was in the best space mentally to bring a small human into the world. It made better sense financially to remain in my role until I could take my maternity leave and then allow ‘what to do next’ with my life to present itself.
Once I took action and surrendered my desire to control, push and strive and stopped seeking outcomes, I started to trust my intuition and the Universe and I become aware of synchronicity and how it plays a role in life.
As it turned out, I never did go back to work after my maternity leave. My role in the travel industry had become redundant and I gladly accepted a severance package. This synchronicity, among other things, was the most divine nudge from the Universe that I needed to launch my mindfulness coaching business.
As a young adult, I’d always believed in the saying ‘things happen for a reason’, but after years of conditioning, I’d managed unknowingly, to unlearn the art of surrender and trust. I was closed off to the signs, blind to how synchronicity magically unfolds.
It is said that it takes extreme pain or rock bottom to inspire change, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
This is what I learnt.
- Listen to your gut – be open, notice what feels uneasy, become aware.
- Take action – even the smallest, seemingly insignificant things can be the catalyst to a chain reaction.
- Let go and trust – this is the hardest bit and like anything, takes practice. I often find myself clinging, striving, seeking and wanting outcomes and more. In those times practising self-compassion and returning to the lessons of my experience help.
Use these tips to help you awaken, release the desire to control and seek outcomes. Learn how to bear witness to life’s synchronicity and the beautiful role it can play.
Nikki Tiedeman
Nikki Tiedeman is a mindfulness coach, teacher of meditation, yoga and founder of Slow Coaching Co. She works with successful professionals and solopreneurs who are ready to quit burnout and being busy. She enables them to slow down, regain balance, regain their connection to self and shift from 'just' surviving to thriving in life.
