“The spiritual life does not remove us from the world but leads us deeper into it” – Henry J.M Nouwen
The phrase Self Care is the calling card and tagline for almost every practitioner and industry player in the wellness industry. The phrase is synonymous with spa days, luncheons and indulgences. I think it is time to claim it back. Let’s add the word Spiritual. Then Self Care takes on a whole other meaning. Spiritual Self Care Days. Days where we start to consider the Energetic Self, Spiritual Self and our connection to Soul and Universal Consciousness as a way to nurture and care for ourselves. Suppose we flip our perspective of self-care to Spiritual Wellness. In that case, we start to look beyond special events and treats as a way to nurture and consider how we can spiritually and energetically nurture ourselves on an everyday basis.
Spirituality is a journey of personal understanding and growth. It is a path to understanding who and how we are daily and how this impacts ourselves, the people around us, and our worldview. It is not a way to hide from reality with a constant stream of positive accolades, affirmations or diversions. It is a way for us to understand our present reality and how our past experiences and behaviours based on our past understandings shaped and continue to shape our lives. I would like us to include the gift of two minutes of Self Compassion in our daily routines alongside our workouts and beauty routines.
Every day we are bombarded with harsh judgements in media, advertising, expectations and learned self-limiting beliefs. There is never enough time. Did we do all we could do, have we achieved enough, was that the right decision or actions, do I look good, am I using the right products? The list of critical questions goes on and on. When was the last time we received, gave or accepted a compliment, a personal reward or mental gratification?
If we are surrounded by harsh judgements designed to influence our thoughts, behaviours and buying decisions, where does the compassion for our humanity come from?
Spirituality teaches us that we are imperfect and designed to be imperfect. It is within the imperfection that beauty lies. Radiant beauty comes from our soul, shines through our spirit, and is reflected and magnified through our energetic self to the world. Beauty is not in perfection but in the understanding and acceptance of our imperfections and our efforts to be as true to our soul selves as possible.
The very idea of perfection is one of fashion and trends. It moves with the times and is tied too heavily with the concept of desirability by attaining a set of externally constructed criteria, the sum of which is perfection. The fast, ever-moving goal of perfection.
Striving constantly to meet moving ideals creates a hunger for a never satisfying pursuit of the unobtainable. And while we strive for this externally referenced model of perfection, we are so busy evaluating ourselves and others that we become blind to who we are. We become slaves to judgements that are not ours but someone else’s. Giving ourselves up to other people’s judgment gives our personal power away and hands it over to the hands. We lose who we are and who we are meant to be. That is the definition of a lost soul—a complete disconnect between our true self and how we live our lives.
If we could be a little more gentle with ourselves, a little more forgiving, allowing us to be human, imperfect and impure, we open the door to allowing ourselves to be. To be who we are and who we are meant to be. We are imperfect, living imperfect lives. We try our best, and there are days when our best is not good enough. Things happen, shitty things, unexpected things, great things. We are not in control of the world, nor should we seek to be. We do not need to be in control of ourselves. We need to trust ourselves, believe in ourselves and give ourselves a break from the harsh criticisms and high standards easily bestowed on us.
If we could be a little more gentle with ourselves, a little more forgiving, allowing us to be human, imperfect and impure, we open the door to allowing ourselves to be. To be who we are and who we are meant to be. We are imperfect, living imperfect lives. We try our best, and there are days when our best is not good enough. Things happen, shitty things, unexpected things, great things. We are not in control of the world, nor should we seek to be. We do not need to be in control of ourselves. We need to trust ourselves, believe in ourselves and give ourselves a break from the harsh criticisms and high standards easily bestowed on us.
So give yourself spiritual self-care, and speak gently and with love to yourself. Actively forgive your mistakes, not so you pass through life unaffected by what you do, but so you are in a state of mind where you understand the how and why of what you did, do now and will do in the future. Through my Buddhist Meditation Practice, I was taught to first give love to myself and then give love to others.
Put another way, place your oxygen mask on first before you help others with theirs.
Every morning and night, take a few minutes to speak with love and acceptance to yourself about who you are. Create a new way of thinking about yourself and change your world.
Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
Michelle Luehman is a healer, guide, spiritual coach and philosopher. She combines her innate spiritual work with what she has learnt through her spiritual studies and business skills.
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
