Dark Night of the Soul and a Lesson in Choosing You

There are moments in our lives when we are tested to our core. Our resilience, perseverance, and perhaps even our willingness to choose life; to choose ourselves and get up another day to take another tentative step is threatened.

We are tested so severely that the essence of who we are comes into question. And the way we think of the world, of ourselves and the meaning we give everything in between ceases to make sense. Instead, life as we know it collapses, often crashing to the ground.

It is a time in our life when we are invited, to take a long hard look at ourselves, what is not working in our life, what no longer serves us, and what changes we need to make. While it is a death of our former selves, it is also a chance for a rebirth of who we are becoming. Someone magically aligned with their purpose and soul’s mission. And while it feels challenging, punishing, and like a deep void is waiting to swallow you whole. We must, at all costs, take that first step to get through it so we can come out the other side emotionally intact. Because, yes, it can take a toll on you. Take it from someone who knows.

I’ve experienced this death and rebirth process more than I can count.

This period in our life is often called a Dark Night of the Soul. It can be akin to depression; often, a label slapped on it by the spiritually unaware. Or for those so caught in its depths, they find it hard to recognise the spiritual truth of it because it is taking all their fight just to take another breath. The benefit it can play in shaping and changing our lives, taking us to new heights within ourselves, and how we show up in the world is priceless. And somewhat of an initiation towards the next level of heightened consciousness as you move through this physical version of your soul’s story.

Whatever that may mean for you at the time. We will all experience a Dark Night of the Soul differently.

What Initiates a Dark Night of the Soul?

It is often, but not always, initiated by an external event that shakes you and triggers you emotionally, potentially unhinging your life. It could range from the death of a loved one or a health disaster to something less dramatic, like an uncomfortable change in your life that unexpectedly forces you into growth mode.

Either way, these periods (and you can have many of them), can manifest slowly or in a wham-bam-slap-you-in-the-face kind of way (usually the former for me – yay me). In fact, with the rapid increase of frequency on the planet and humanity’s current awakening and growth spurt, you are probably in the midst of your own dark night of the soul, just about to go through it, or maybe you’ve come out the other side, celebrating a newly upgraded version of yourself. Ready to take on the world once more. Perhaps in a bigger and better way.

I think I have been traversing the Dark Night of the Soul on and off for a year or so now. Not to mention all of the other times in my past I have gone through it, and in some ways, it has felt like a significant part of my life was one long Dark Night of the Soul. The most recent, which inspired me to write this article, took me to a deep, dark and scary place within myself. I was walking through solid sludge to stay alive. Until a message from Spirit came through loud and clear…

Choose to live. That probably sounds a tad dramatic, but that was my reality at the time. This Dark Night of the Soul triggered all my old programming around self-sabotaging my body and not caring for it as I should. Lousy food, nil spiritual practice, and I stopped taking necessary medication because…, well, because I was stuck in the sludge and had to keep remembering to fight it. That took all my energy. I had little emotional or mental capacity for anything else.

How I treat my body is a connection to deep trauma that I have been working through on and ogg – like a yoyo. So it is no surprise that my soul chose THAT lesson for me this particular Dark Night of the Soul.

In a, do it (finally) or go home to spirit type of scenario.

But it served its purpose. It showed me the parts of myself I desperately needed to shed to step into who I am – a woman I have resisted becoming. So now that I have emerged, honouring those parts of myself first has become my daily non-negotiable. This time, I am steadfast and sticking to it because I finally received the message, loud and clear. Although it was not the first time this message dropped into my consciousness, something about it made me finally listen.

What is the purpose of a Dark Night of the Soul?

“The Dark Night of the Soul is a spiritual process where the seed of life is buried within the soil of suffering.” – Dr. Zina Pritchard

It is told that the birth of our authentic soul self is initiated from the feelings that emotional suffering and being in a dark place can manifest. Like those feelings of being lost, alone and confused. When all the ways your life has made sense to you thus far cease to exist and resonate with you.

It is an opening, an invitation (a forced one perhaps) towards a transitional period in your life that gives you the opportunity to recognise what no longer serves you and needs to be shed and let go of from your life.

That can be certain people, experiences, and personal behaviours and belief systems. You know, those that keep you small? Yep, them.

The Dark Night of the Soul shows you the raw truth of your life as it is, without the rose-coloured glasses we sometimes love to wear. It causes you to ask the questions of yourself that you may have been avoiding. Not in a way to belittle you or to confirm those horrid thoughts you may sometimes have about yourself. But to show you those beliefs that you need to overcome, heal from, and transition beyond.

Simply put, sometimes we need to see the darkness before we can see the light, and the Dark Night of the Soul is an intervention from your higher self to recognise that light within you. Or at least what you need to shed to find it. Especially if your Dark Night of the Soul experience happened because you were off-track and not genuinely aligned with who your soul intended to be in your current incarnation.

So while the Dark Night of the Soul will make you feel like your life has been ripped out from under you, it is there to help you readjust and realign your path. You then have the chance to emerge from the experience a more purposeful, aligned version of yourself, ready to take on the world and manifest the life you deserve to live.

What can you do if experiencing a Dark Night of the Soul?

First, be gentle with yourself, seek support, and know that while you may feel a tremendous weight on your shoulders right now, it won’t last forever. And it certainly isn’t something you need to blame or fault yourself for. It is simply your soul saying, “let me show you what needs to change – the hard way” – often because you weren’t listening to the subtle pre-warnings you’ve been getting for a thousand years.

It will dissipate, and you will see the upside to life again. Still, it would be best if you created some energy around creating action to move through it. Part of the lesson a Dark Night of the Soul will bring is the importance of consciously creating life; only you are responsible for that. We are being forced to recognise the choices we’ve made thus far. The ones that didn’t work or align with our heart so we can make better choices, to bring us closer to happiness instead of away from it.

So essentially, Dark Nights of the Soul bares the message, “Make a change or continue to suffer”.

Dramatic, I know.

It sucks, I know.

Death and rebirth can be like that. Painful and exquisite simultaneously.

The trick is not to get so caught up in its darkness that you lose yourself entirely because that can happen too. Instead, consciously honour where you are, don’t take it personally because, no, the world and life are not against you. Feel all the feels (avoidance will only make it worse). Explore them, and dare to witness what lies underneath what is arising for you. Release them with delicious self-expression, and recognise this period in your life for what it is – a chance to choose differently. A chance to shed all parts of yourself and the life you’ve been unhappy in.

It has held you back for long enough, and it is time for you to embrace whatever magical experience is waiting around the corner for you. Because there will be one, so don’t lose hope. You are stronger and more critical to this world than you realise. So it is time to will it into your heart and hold the vision sacred.

Kim Bleeze, Founder | CEO

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Kim Bleeze is a free-spirited gypsy traveller and wears many hats. A medium, psychic, mentor, teacher, speaker, healer and author. For over 15 years, Kim has worked with clients and students in Australia and Overseas. She has a passion for spirit, mediumship, and inspiring people to be real, raw, and awakened to their soul’s blueprint. Which ultimately inspired the birth of Fierce Truths Magazine.