The spiritual path can be tricky to navigate. There is no definitive language, no dictionary of terms, and ancient oral references are lost. We no longer have a tradition of learning handed down within cultures or generations. What we have is a worldwide explosion of information and interpretation. We choose who we want to listen to, how we want to receive the information and what model of spirituality, the universe, makes sense to us—ultimately empowering and to be embraced.
However, lately, in my work and own searching, I realized the language of spirituality has turned away from honest expression. From empowering us to express emotions into something less empowering, the handing over power to another. The exact opposite of how I understand spirituality and how I want to see it expressed.
To give you a context for my discussion, I work almost exclusively on freeing people from negative and damaging behaviours and thought processes. The dark side, if you will, Shadow Work and healing. So people come to me because they are unhappy, stuck in negative mode, or distanced emotionally from life. I watch many of my clients struggle with expressing negative emotions. Our language does not cater as extensively for the negative or unhappy as it does for the happy. We can easily name 10 or 20 words that mean good or happy but try to express negative emotions, and you are left with a woefully short list.
This lack of language and unwillingness to accept openly expressed negative emotions goes further than that. I think this lack of emotional language expresses two things. Firstly, it is not socially or culturally acceptable to be in an emotionally negative state or express that feeling directly. Then secondly, this leads to direct pressure to justify why we are in this negative state.
Are we not allowed to be in a natural flux of emotions? Must we only be in one state?
I consider myself a happy and content person, but that does not mean I am emotionally devoid of emotional depth or broadband. It actually means the opposite. I can easily identify and name when I am out of sorts, angry, confused, stuck, or disappointed and express that openly to myself. Often I have to acknowledge that no one has done anything to me; I have, in fact, once again done it to myself through my own limitations. I can blame my lack of research and lack of empathy, but my expectations were out of sync with reality. There are several factors.
Intellectually and emotionally, I understand being in flow and allowing others to be in their own emotional or psychological space, does not mean that I can live in flow every day. I still have to remind myself of the need for me to own my own emotions and emotional responses. I do not need to justify my negative feelings or reactions. I need to own them as mine, originating in me and not always because of someone else’s behaviour. I find blame language, “they are toxic, energy vampires, bitches, pricks, bad parents, bad..,” an emotional and energetic trap, dimming our spirituality.
I am careful about where, when, and to whom I express my negative emotions. If I say I am happy today, I get a smile and a nod. I am not asked to justify being happy. Saying I am a little sad today results in another response. There is pressure to justify or blame. Sometimes naming it is enough to process it. You are simply giving it air and releasing it. Owning your emotional response is powerful.
Take it a step further. It is ok not to like some people. No justification is necessary. It is ok to walk away from a situation or person you no longer want or need to be around. You do not need to justify your decision. If we stay uncomfortable with our negative emotions and cannot own them, we remain trapped. We remain unempowered and in a victim cycle.
Choose to empower yourself, own your emotions across the spectrum and get comfortable with understanding your own emotions and responses. Step into the light.
Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
Michelle Luehman is a healer, guide, spiritual coach and philosopher. She combines her innate spiritual work with what she has learnt through her spiritual studies and business skills.
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
- Michelle Luehman, Our Expert (Former)
