Empowered Healing: Self-Trust

When we think about trust, most people usually think about trusting other people and relationships such as; romantic partners, family, friends, children, co-workers etc. While these are all important, the most meaningful relationship to build trust with, is yourself.

What is self-trust?

Self-trust is the ability to have clarity and confidence in your decisions and choices and live a life congruent with your core values, morals, and beliefs. It is to be able to speak confidently without arrogance and to observe yourself and your life, learning from both the successes and the failures.

Many people also find it scary because, beyond the external messages and opinions of others, trusting yourself and your choices and decisions often involve an unknowable outcome and/or future. So, you would benefit by also embracing the unknown, which becomes easier when you build your self-trust.

What factors impede self-trust?

Many factors impede self-trust. Low self-esteem, grief, fear, doubt, chronic illness/pain, abusive relationships, regret, not letting go of failures, not honouring your emotions or personal values. And not knowing yourself or your patterns that hinder this connection.

You may not even be aware that you lack self-trust. Suppose you are constantly asking other people’s opinions. Using that as the main influence for your decisions, worried about being judged, or repeatedly going over the pros and cons and being unable to make a choice. In that case, you are likely lacking trust.

To not trust yourself means:

You do not trust your own judgment.
You put yourself down (self-talk and/or aloud).
You have low self-esteem and lack confidence.
You second guess all your decisions.
You always look to other people for answers.
You think you can only make decisions if others agree.
You feel uncomfortable spending time alone.
You do not protect your mental, physical, and emotional state.
You do not have clear boundaries.
You prefer being busy rather than sitting with your thoughts and feelings.
You do not listen to your own intuition.
You do not stand up for yourself.

I, like many, have had issues in self-trust that I was unaware of until I started my own spiritual journey. As mentioned earlier, the key factor for me was becoming aware of the patterns in my life and my journey of self-discovery.

This was done primarily through books, meditation, healing therapies (specifically Reiki and Forensic Healing), and sitting in a Psychic and Mediumship Development circle for many years where self-development was crucial.

Gaining awareness, knowledge and understanding of the experiences and situations that created these patterns that disconnected me from trusting myself was extremely important and profound. Not only did it help me heal from them, but I also felt a sense of empowerment because I knew precisely what needed changing and why. Only when you are truly aware can you begin to work on it and change it.

Practices to develop self-trust:

Be kind to yourself.
Spend time alone. Get comfortable with our own company.
Tell yourself you are enough.
Receive energy healings and other therapies.
Forgive yourself for your mistakes.
Honour your emotions.
Take care of your own needs and safety.
Keep promises to yourself.
Learn to survive difficult situations and do not give up.
Let go of the outcomes of your decisions and choices.
Accept and look for the lessons in challenging times.
Resist the urge to be a perfectionist.
Be willing to take risks. Low level and then build on them.
Accept and learn from failures.
Respect your values, morals and beliefs and make decisions that align with them.
Seek support from people who love you and remind you of your worth.
Set reasonable and achievable goals.
Voice your beliefs and truth
Work with your feelings, not against them.

Working on your relationship with yourself and practising to increase your self-confidence is a positive movement forward in building your self-trust. Although it may be uncomfortable initially, you will find the new-found confidence you develop ripples into your relationships and all areas of your life.

You will also experience old fears arising from time to time. These fears emerge to show you patterns that have less or no more power over you than they previously did. When you develop this awareness and recognise it, you have established the ability to stop the cycles. They will then be briefer in time until they eventually hold no power over you. No matter how often you catch yourself falling back into them, you must trust that you can overcome them.

Remember, self-trust takes work, so do not attempt to do all the practices simultaneously. Just take it one step at a time.

On a spiritual level, you will also grow and expand. Because although much of the work seems practical, you are also doing deep inner work, which leads to increased self-connection. The spiritual journey is about connecting to your soul, bettering yourself, growing and expanding, and trusting yourself to live to your full potential. It is learning to speak your truth and trusting that the universe has your back, although the future is unknown. Everything happens for a reason, for your growth and evolution.

In this state of being, you can truly surrender and let go of what does not serve you. Surrendering can also occur at the other end of the spectrum, which is when you hit rock bottom. Some people must get to that place to succumb to a higher power and rebuild their trust from there.

Building self-trust also requires you to connect with your soul, to connect with it and listen to its messages and make decisions from there. Tuning in to your intuition like this allows it to grow and become clearer and stronger as you do.

So, you beautiful, unique souls, go and heal from your experiences, and break the patterns that do not serve you whilst building your self-trust because your soul always knows what is best for you, so trust it!

Karina Barca, Our Expert

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Regular Column: Empowered Healing

Karina Barca is a Melbourne-based Medium, Healer, Psychic, Reiki Master Teacher, Mentor, Forensic Healing Practitioner and Facilitator of ‘Sistahood Sundays’. Through her own healing and empowerment journey, her passion became very clear. To serve, inspire and assist all who want to grow, heal, and evolve.