It’s warm where you are…
Floating aimlessly within the womb of your mother. The warm amniotic waters flowing
about you, cushioning you and cradling you while the ‘thud, thud, thud’ of her heartbeat lulls you in and out of a deep, peaceful sleep.
You are what ‘they’ refer to as a child. A tiny human that is about to embark on a mighty human experience.
As time moves forward, your consciousness is awakened, and you become aware of the cellular growth taking place within you.
As your awareness shifts to your surroundings, you are, without warning, thrust into a downward spiral of confusion and pain. You strain against the Gravito rial thrust and as the muscles of her womb contract around you in preparation for what they refer to as ‘Birth.’ You feel an uncontrollable sense of dread rise within you, and as your tiny body is forced to contort, you wonder what is to become of you. Where has your safe, beautiful sanctuary gone, and where has the heartbeat that has drummed you to sleep since the beginning of your time gone?
After what seems like an eternity, you pass through the birth canal and into your mother’s waiting arms. A deep guttural wail escapes from someplace deep inside of you. You are swaddled only in what they call ‘your birthday suit.’ A little bundle of flesh and bone that you are quick to realise is to be your home for the next seven or so decades.
As you continue to grow and develop throughout what is called ‘infancy’, you absorb all that you can from your external surroundings. You learn from your family and friends as much as you can, and you embrace every opportunity that comes your way to expand and grow.
Entering the world of formal education, you learn that six hours a day and five days a week is to be your new normal. You get a new suit to fill here, too, which is just as well for the space, though initially uncomfortable, is much appreciated. You find the room to stretch necessary, as so many complicated life lessons are here to be learned. One of the hardest of all is puberty. A metamorphosis of the human body, where the brain and body develop at a rate, does not transform you from a child to a young adult.
Whilst You learn academically about things such as Science, Mathematics, English, and Biology, the internal struggle within you stifles all attempts to accommodate the new changes occurring daily within your body. You feel awkward within, disconnected, and in limbo. Defined as neither child nor adult, your new soul suit’s new boundaries are wide, and your insecurities even wider. Your safety is compromised, and you are left feeling disconnected.
As you move into adulthood, you continue to ride the rail of what can only be described as another complex experience. You learn the value of relationships, social acceptance, and behaviour.
As a first-time parent, you are quick to learn that children DO NOT come with an instruction manual and that all you ever thought about yourself is no longer applicable, discarded in haste for the needs and wants of the tiny little being/s you have just welcomed into the world.
Fast forward twenty years, and you will most likely be staring at a face you no longer recognise. Your life is alien to you, and as the wind of change hits you hard in the face, you are ripped from your foundations, losing all balance and connectedness. You grapple with the feeling that you no longer have purpose. There is no need for you anymore in your kids’ lives, and you no longer associate with the person you have become!
As a Psychic medium, many clients come to me daily with guilty confessions of feeling just like this. They describe feelings of being lost, disconnected, and uninterested or present in their current lives.
They express fear and grief at the realisation that they no longer have anything in common with the partner they have been with for a quarter of a century. They can no longer look at themselves in the mirror and associate themselves with the face staring back at them.
Understanding that this is a scary place to be, I attempt with grace and compassion to explain to them (as I have here in this article) that in life, we are continuously given new suits to grow and fill and that what is currently being felt and experienced is just another suit.
The time of life they have entered is a time of self-realisation and acceptance. A time to focus on them.
As I write the final words in this article, I am reminded that grief is the space left by love and that this final suit we are granted at this time in our life is, in a way, the torch that is to lead us within to self-actualisation and home. This is the journey not of a human having a soul experience but of a beautiful soul having had a hectic life fulfilling human experience, with the final lesson being not to love one another, but to love the face of the one that stares back at you every morning.

Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
Bec Campbell writes our regular column, The Goodness in Grief, and is a medium, funeral Director and author. With over thirty years working with spirit, Bec now uses her extensive skill set to help others heal from Grief.

















