Just as there is certainty in knowing that the sun will rise in the East and fall in the West, someday, too, we shall take a final breath and leave this world. In our place of being, grief will affect all we love.
Working in the funeral industry and as a professional Psychic Medium, I have seen firsthand the disguises worn by grief on many occasions. For some, grief appears as a debilitating gut-wrenching pain, while for others, in the sense of peace and calm, knowing that their loved one needs to suffer no more.
Grief doesn’t always have to be associated with death, either. Any form of loss can invoke suffering.
Whether it be the loss of a long-term job, a relationship breakdown, or the loss of a beloved family pet, grief does not discriminate against its cause.
The other day, I was trying to explain death-related grief to a client (using a physical correlation). Always ready with an answer, Spirit explained that it was like having your leg amputated. One moment it is there; the next, it isn’t, and the phantom pain that presents soon after is somewhat confusing because it relates to something that no longer physically exists.
Unlike some Asian and South Pacific cultures that celebrate the passing of a well-lived life, post-death rituals in Western culture are not commonly witnessed by families when planning end-of-life services. Usually, our loved ones are taken from their place of passing and brought into the care of the funeral home.
The next time a family may see their loved one is when they are viewed for the last time at an end-of-life celebration or in a private family viewing. Sadly, the whole process surrounding the Western death ritual is still hush-hush and taboo. I cannot help but feel sorry for the many missed healing opportunities that were lost due to outdated end-of-life beliefs.
Creating a positive death movement (such as the one we see developing throughout the USA, for example) aims to eradicate the lack of familiarity, inclusion, and understanding surrounding death. As a result, more and more information about mortuary and general end-of-life procedures is shared on social media platforms. No longer is it just the minority groups who follow us, like us, and share.
The other day, my mother looked up one of my favourite embalmers on social media and found herself stuck down a rabbit hole for the remainder of the evening.
The more we talk about the pain associated with loss, and the more we share our experiences as educators about grief, the more people will begin to understand, embrace, and accept the natural process of dying.
Preparing someone for their final journey home is an honourable and rewarding opportunity. For hundreds of years, indigenous cultures have celebrated and worshipped their deceased. For example, in some Polynesian countries, it is not uncommon for the mummified remains of their loved ones to be brought out and celebrated during festive times. And, in South American countries such as Mexico, the dead have a whole festival of their own, where families celebrate, play music, laugh, and consume extravagant feasts at the graveside of their deceased loved ones.
Normalizing death from what I have experienced eases grief on so many levels.
In the late 1960s, Elizabeth Kübler-Ross categorized grief into five fundamental stages: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance.
While applicable at the time, these stages did not consider the fast-paced evolution of the soul or the expansion of human consciousness into the multi-dimensional etheric value systems that we see today. You only must look at the awareness our children are born with to know that they are far more aware and awake than we have ever been. And, just as the industry has evolved, creating advancements in technology and science. The human consciousness has grown also, and it would be naive of us to believe that five outdated fundamentals could still encapsulate what I believe to be the totality of the upgraded grieving process.
Even if they could, the processes would be closer in comparison to Acceptance, Deliberation, Integration, and Evolution. But, of course, I am no specialist in the field of grief, and I certainly don’t intend to degrade anyone’s theory of what it should or should not be.
I stand for what I believe in, and as I have said many times throughout this article, knowledge is the key to freedom. If we understand, we do not fear. If we do not worry, we accept, and so on.
Sadly, making friends with death and grief will not happen overnight. But, just as the sun slowly creeps from the horizon in the East, so too the wheels of change are inevitably turning. It is Incredible forums such as this that allow us the freedom of expression. Where once we were blindfolded by fear, we can now see through the lens of truth.
It is in that truth that we can embrace and celebrate the goodness in grief, and the healing it can bring to us, our souls, and the forever after.
Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
Bec Campbell writes our regular column, The Goodness in Grief, and is a medium, funeral Director and author. With over thirty years working with spirit, Bec now uses her extensive skill set to help others heal from Grief.
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
