A few years ago, when I first began my journey as a grief advisor, death doula, and funeral director, there were so many situations I found myself in whereby families had no idea what to do or where to go following the passing of a loved one. My heart broke watching these beautiful families so devastated and fragmented by grief, struggling to come together to make sense of the complexity that end-of-life proceedings exposed them to.
Once upon a time, that was me. I remember the late-night and early-morning vigils, the endless phone calls, organizational requests, and the general fear I had felt at the time of my loved one’s end-of-life passing time. While I had seen the body of a deceased once before, I had no idea what really to expect this time as I had been told all deaths were different. I didn’t know what the physiological changes in my loved ones’ appearance meant. I didn’t know what needed to happen next or who to contact following the passing. There was no reference material available for me to read and no one to answer any questions I may have had. I felt like I was in the dark and navigating unchartered waters without a map.
As I saw more and more families struggle just as I had, it became apparent to me that there was a huge gaping hole in the death industry that needed to be filled. While private palliative service held space and education for some, I felt it wasn’t enough. More education was required. People needed to know that questions could be answered, assistance could be provided, and support was readily available. They needed to see that they were not alone!
While researching for myself, I came across a thing called a ‘Death Doula, whose
role and purpose are to assist loved ones and their families in having the ‘best possible death.’ They are, I suppose, similar to a Birth Doula who deals with maternity and birthing issues.
They provide support in every way possible to families and individuals who must make and face end-of-life choices. For many, there is no family to assist. The whole process is far too daunting for others, and they don’t know where to begin.
Whether holding vigils in hospitals, hospices, or homes, assisting with filling out funeral paperwork, obtaining information about local laws pertaining to end-of-life body disposition, or other duties, the death doula’s role is vital in shedding light on an industry that has been in the dark for far too long. So many people have suffered needlessly for the sake of education.
In general, death seems to raise more questions than answers, and I know that there is still so much we don’t know or understand about it or the evolution of the human soul. While it may be a solitary journey for the individual transitioning from this life, the entire process is very self-relative for all involved. From start to finish, it makes us question our choices, decisions, and mortality. As a Psychic Medium, I know the regret and doubt left following a passing too well. I hear it all the time; ‘Do they know I love them?’, ‘Are they happy and ok? ‘Do they know I am sorry?’; and It’s not just one-sided either! On many occasions, I have heard the discarnate ask such questions from my sitters.
Joining the funeral industry was undoubtedly the turning point in bridging the gap between fear and revere for me. I fell into it when a funeral company in Far North Queensland invited me to give a keynote presentation (on grief) and an evening platform mediumship demonstration. From there, my exposure to the death industry just seemed to take me through door after door until I settled in a position as a Funeral Director and Mortician myself.
The more I worked in the industry, the more I was exposed to the incredible end-of-life processes other cultures and religions performed upon the passing of their loved ones. Things I had never seen or even heard of before. Incredible dancing rituals, storytelling, love, and laughter. It reminded me somewhat of the practices the ancient Egyptians, South American Indians, and Africans may have performed all those centuries ago. Just the level of care and science that was applied to embalming their deceased back then was mind-blowing. Still today, Egyptian mummies and their tombs are of great interest, remaining among the biggest drawcards for Egyptian tourism.
Today, both the funeral and death industries are showing advances in modernization and education. Industry standards are changing constantly, and more and more opportunities are being presented for alternative end-of-life options to become available to consumers.
With advances in science, communication systems, and social media platforms, the death industry has taken giant steps toward making a better name for itself.
Opportunities such as ‘Living Funerals’ are being offered whereby the family and loved ones celebrate the life of a terminally ill person while they are still alive. This incredible idea allows the person to hear and see the impact they have made in the lives of others.
As land parcels become less viable options and the destructive carbon footprint created by cremation processes becomes more evident, alternative GREEN end-of-life body disposition alternatives are now being developed. The forerunners in this field are Alkaline Hydrolysis—The Gentle Way (using water ) and Terramation, better known as human composting.
While these small changes are at least getting the ball rolling, there is still so much we can do as educators to bring knowledge to the platforms.
Pre-planning funerals, living funerals, air, ocean, land remain distribution, burials, cremations, terramation, alkaline hydrolysis, funeral homes, and coroners. While there is still so much fear surrounding death and dying and the industry that supports it, and so much more that will develop in the future, there is no doubt that the navigational system is slowly coming online. It’s forums such as this that are so important, and voices such as ours are vital in turning fear into revere, even if it is one pass at a time.
Image by Albrecht Fietz from Pixabay
Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
Bec Campbell writes our regular column, The Goodness in Grief, and is a medium, funeral Director and author. With over thirty years working with spirit, Bec now uses her extensive skill set to help others heal from Grief.
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
- Bec Campbell, Our Expert (Former)
