Do You Feel Unworthy of Love?

Feeling unworthy is not an easy thing to admit to, much less talk about, but it’s a feeling that resonates with many of us. Even though we all are deserving of love, for some people, it can be hard to believe. When we feel unworthy of love, we consciously and unconsciously push away what our hearts crave, unwilling to open ourselves to receiving. If we struggle with opening our hearts and letting love in, it’s time to centre ourselves and awaken all the love that already lies within. Feeling unworthy of love plagues us with anxious and doubtful thoughts. The seeds of unworthiness are often planted during childhood, or maybe a past relationship made you feel that everything was your fault or that you were less than. When we experience these emotional traumas, we take them on as a part of our narrative that tells us that we are not worthy, which becomes a part of our identity. Instead of attracting healthy love into our lives, we attract toxic people and situations that confirm this narrative.

Here are some questions that may reveal if you secretly believe that you don’t deserve love and happiness in your life:

Do you sometimes feel inferior around other people?
Do you always put others’ needs before your own?
Do you think you must improve yourself to gain the acceptance of others?
Do you find it hard to forgive yourself?
Do you believe everything is your fault?
Do you find it hard to believe compliments and praise from others?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be shutting yourself off from love because you don’t think you deserve it.

Learning how to be comfortable with and embrace others starts with learning how to love yourself properly. Sadly, sometimes we cling to the pain that we have already experienced, and we look for people who recreate that pain because it feels familiar. Our suffering confirms that we deserve to suffer. This toxic mindset is not something you have to live with forever, and it is possible to learn how to love yourself so that you know your worth and invite others to treat you with love and kindness. Here are three exercises to focus on that will help you to relinquish toxic beliefs.

Explore Your Feelings

When we feel unworthy of love, we tend to push aside our feelings, believing that we shouldn’t feel how we do. When we refuse to acknowledge our emotions, we detach from ourselves and become numb. By refusing to engage with your feelings and express them to others, we don’t allow our loved ones to understand us, which pushes them away instead of drawing them closer. Acknowledging and accepting your feelings communicates to yourself and those around you that you honour and respect yourself.

Don’t Pretend

When we believe that another person could never love us for who we are, we tend to pretend to be someone we’re not. We think that we must be perfect to attract someone and hold their interest. We can’t imagine that a person could love all the parts of us that we, ourselves, refuse to love. Perfection is not what attracts lasting love. It is the ability to turn up with your flaws and be vulnerable in front of another. When we do this, we invite our partner to be vulnerable with us, which creates the opportunity to accept one another, deepening your love.

Be The Best Version of Yourself

Everyone has things they enjoy doing and are good at. It’s important to give yourself opportunities to show what you can do. When you are achieving things throughout your day, you will feel good about yourself. You are not trying to win the approval of others, but taking the time to prove to yourself what you can achieve when you put your mind to it. Feeling unworthy of love can make you feel very alone, and it can be difficult even to identify what we are feeling or why we even feel this way. Remember, each one of us deserves the experience of a healthy, supportive, and loving relationship. If you have ever been made to feel that you do not deserve to be loved, nothing could be further from the truth. It’s not easy, but you can let go of any toxic thoughts about yourself that burden you. It’s time to rediscover yourself and the multitude of reasons that make you uniquely lovable.