How I Broke Free from Self-Doubt and Loneliness to Create a Life Aligned with Purpose, Intuition, and Unconventional Truth
Do I admit that I love Frente? Or Mariah Carey or Tina Arena?
No.
I kept myself hidden as a 10-year-old child.
I was frozen in my own world and thoughts, struggling to be myself and connect to the people around me.
Sure, I had friends, and I was good at things, but on the outside, everything seemed fine.
Deep down, I battled loneliness and a constant feeling of not measuring up.
I would always compare myself to others, trying to fit in instead of being who I truly was.
As I grew older, I kept trying to conform, but this meant I only attracted people, work and situations that didn’t align with who I was.
Panic attacks, anxiety and a relationship break-up, confronted me with a painful truth.
I could no longer run from the grief, pain and emptiness I felt inside.
I could no longer just set a goal, work hard and use my mind to get through this.
I knew I couldn’t go on being the same person.
I had to learn a whole new way of being.
I never considered myself to be spiritual.
I was the grounded and practical type who loved science.
But traditional therapy didn’t work for me.
So, the next 15 years led me down many different paths in search of a way to deal with the torment inside.
I studied Buddhism for several years, was mentored by an ordained Zen Master, and initiated Shaman and yogis.
I threw myself into somatic work, self-hypnosis, manifestation, and all different types of meditation and breathwork, and I was trained as a yoga teacher.
I learned many things throughout this period.
I learned that our minds, alone, will not get you to where you want to go.
I learned to surrender.
This meant fully giving in to a place in my life that I didn’t want to be.
I didn’t dream of this.
I’d made a lot of mistakes, lost friendships and partnerships, acted in ways I wasn’t proud of and ultimately, had many experiences I never thought were planned for me.
I learned that silence could become our greatest ally.
Prior to this, I couldn’t bear being alone.
Because being alone brought up everything about me that I despised.
I learned how to be happy from the inside out.
How to feel good in my own skin without the desperate need for a relationship.
I learned that our soul, our purpose and our hearts speak to us through our desires and yearnings.
I began joining the dots between my past challenges, years of study in traditional psychology and spiritual traditions to realise that I dreamed of an unconventional life, doing work and life differently to what was expected of me.
I learned that if I didn’t stand up for what I believed in, take risks both personally and professionally, I’d stay stuck.
I’d stay frozen within, like that 10-year-old.
I’d never feel fulfilled.
I’d never feel like my life had meaning and that I had really ‘lived’ my precious life.
Today – My life’s work is to merge the rational with the intuitive.
To help others claim their authentic voice, live by their gut and intuition and defy conventional norms.
Louise Cridland
Louise is a Holistic & Spiritual Psychologist with over 12 years experience. My own struggles with anxiety and ‘not enoughness’ and the limitations of traditional therapy— led me to study different spiritual traditions. I blend traditional psychology with spiritual practices to help clients align with their innate gifts and intuition so they step into their true power and claim their unique voice.
