In 2021, when I won the prestigious title of Mrs. Colorado – it challenged everything the world had ever told me about beauty. I am the first severely scarred woman to win a competitive state beauty pageant title. My story began 40 years earlier when, as a young girl, I survived a house explosion, leaving 70% of my body covered in disfiguring scars. In an instant, my life was changed forever. And I felt trapped inside a body that the world – and I – couldn’t accept.
It took decades of fighting an internal war before I could see myself in a new light. The battles between my own self-doubt, the rejection from others, and my deep desire to feel beautiful again were in constant conflict. The stares, whispers, and judgment were never-ending, delivering blow after blow to my barely growing self-esteem. But my harshest critic was myself, offering the most lethal punches to my inner psyche. Every glance in the mirror reminded me of that fateful night and the beauty I had lost. Yet deep down, a part of me knew my story wasn’t over.
Learning to silence the inner critic and embrace the inner cheerleader is a struggle we all face. Alan Cohen brilliantly said, “If you gave your inner genius as much credence as your inner critic, you would be light years ahead of where you now stand.” No one else could do that for me, just as no one else can make that choice for you.
Spiritual growth became my anchor, helping me slowly realize that my scars were a symbol of where I had been, but I didn’t have to let them dictate where I was heading. A pivotal experience in my 20s welcomed an altered view of myself, and that divine moment took place in an ordinary bathroom mirror.
For so long, I had avoided my reflection. But at this moment, I knew it was time to face it. I examined every tight, red anomaly covering my features. I bravely introduced myself to each scar so I could eventually accept them for what they were: a permanent yet powerful part of me. Determined to look even deeper than the mirror typically allows, I gazed into my spirit to find a new way to define myself and uncover beauty deep within.
My growing success also came from my ability to flip my inner script. I created and embraced the idea that life’s too short not to love yourself while you’re working on yourself. Once I started paying attention to the constant stream of thoughts running through my mind, I realized how often my inner critic reared her ugly head. After all, I am responsible for rewriting those negative thoughts into something empowering.
For example, I’ve been stared at every day for the last 43 years. I used to interpret those stares negatively, convincing myself I was gross, ugly, and weird. After decades, I found a better way. I now choose to see my scars as God’s Masterpiece of Art. When you encounter unique artwork, you must stop and stare at it, right? My scars carry that same power, an opportunity for God to teach someone while they admire His handiwork. And I go about my day, not letting the experience steal my joy.
This creative flipping of my script has elevated my life and brought peace in moments that once crushed me. People’s reactions to my scars haven’t changed; what’s changed is how I interpret them. Where in your life do you need a God’s Masterpiece of Art kind of thinking?
Taking charge of my mindset opened the door to a better life path. Causing a once-shattered childhood dream to resurface: a calling to be in a state beauty pageant. At first, I pushed the vulnerable idea away until one powerful notion changed everything. I saw myself on a stage among countless gorgeous women but didn’t see myself as ‘the scarred lady’ in the middle. Looking around, I saw their life scars too. At that moment, I remembered that we all carry scars of some kind, and I knew I belonged on that stage of beauty.
I proudly showed the world my scars and the beauty and strength they have gifted me. It took me three years to win that coveted crown; I had much to learn about this pageant sport. Winning the Mrs. Colorado title in 2021 wasn’t just my victory. It challenged conventional beauty standards and proved that true beauty is found in resilience, strength, and grace. It was a victory for all.
Today, in all I do, my story of triumph offers others the comfort of knowing that life’s pain and struggle can be what brings us all together to find healing from any circumstance. I am living proof that beauty isn’t about perfection; it’s about courage, resilience, self-love, and the light we CHOOSE to shine to the world. I hope you always find beauty, no matter what ashes life may deliver upon your path.
