Some people are born to be earth angels. Susan Verde, mindfulness expert and #1 New York Times bestselling author of the ‘I AM’ picture book series for kids, is such a person. With a passion for helping others feel seen, heard and connected, Susan shares with us from a place of vulnerability and profound truth. Highlighting the importance of being human from a place of compassion and acceptance for everyone and how listening to other people’s personal stories is of the utmost importance.
Like many with significant work to do here, Susan was led to her life’s work by a difficult childhood and challenging life. She did not find out until much later that there was a whole language around self-love and healing that hadn’t been shared with her whilst growing up. Susan’s passion for teaching the language of love, acceptance and compassion through her writing is now driven by that. She understands the importance of teaching these simple self-truths to the next generation (and adults).
Susan gives us a peek at her life journey in her first book for adults, ‘SAY ONE KIND THING: LESSONS IN ACCEPTANCE, LOVE AND LETTING GO’. She openly shares her self-discovery through all the challenges life throws at her-supporting one child through a mental health struggle and another through gender affirmation. To divorce, the loss of her father, and a reconnection with her mother.
Susan Verde is full of heart-centred wisdom, so dive into her interview, and read what she says for yourself.
Kim: Susan, who are you, as a woman, a leader, a change-maker and an author? What calls to your heart and soul?
Susan: It may sound cliché, but what calls to my heart and soul is finding some way to spread kindness, be kind, and find compassion in others and myself to make a human connection on that level. Because I think so many things get in the way of what’s in our hearts. So, that’s my goal. To make people feel seen and heard so that somehow we can connect.
Kim: Reading your bio Susan, you’ve been through some tough challenges. I suppose this has given you inner resources to pull from to do your work. Are you happy to share a little bit of that journey?
Susan: It was a difficult childhood, and when I was growing up, we didn’t have the language we have today. I didn’t know that loving yourself and being kind to yourself was even an option. It was just, “Okay, this is what the world is throwing at me, and I’m just going to get through it the best I can.”
There came the point at which I realized there were other ways of being, and it made me want to find that community and a way to heal myself.
So once I got out into the world, I saw that there were options, better ways to treat myself and to be present in the world, and I think knowing I wanted to have children made me want to work on that. Being a teacher made me want to work on that. And being present in my life made me want to work on that.
Kim: Susan, you are the author of the ‘I AM’ book series for children. How much experience as a mum, teacher and someone on their healing journey did you bring into your books? How did that journey look?
Susan: Kids ask me, when I visit them, “What’s your favourite book you’ve written?” And that’s like picking my favourite child! I put all of my heart and soul into every book. As I started teaching and engaging with kids, I started to see what they were grappling with and noticed that I had also grappled with those things. So I wanted to bring the tools that I found were helpful to me into their lives.
I wanted the ‘I AM’ series to teach them that they are already these things. They just have to tap into it.
The ‘I AM’ series began with yoga. I was teaching yoga to kids, so it seemed like a great idea to write a yoga book. But as I started writing it, I knew I didn’t want it to be instructional. I wanted it to be about how it makes us feel and how it can support us. And that’s how the whole series took off because it was this idea that these things are in you, and you just need guidance or a reminder. Here are some tools that hopefully will work; if they don’t, they don’t. But if they do, you’ve got them in your back pocket. So that’s how that journey began.
Kim: You’ve also written an adult’s book, ‘Say One Kind Thing; Lessons in Acceptance, Love and Letting Go’. About your challenges while you were in the process of becoming a New York bestselling author, which is incredible, by the way. So, can you speak to that, please?
Susan: It was exciting and daunting to go from writing picture books to suddenly spilling my heart out in an adult memoir. But it’s really about learning to be kinder to yourself. I’m still working on it, but this is what’s helped me, and it’s really my experience.
So, there is no how-to’s or should. It’s not a self-help book. There’s only the hope that the people who read it can see some of themselves in it and understand that these things got me to where I am now. Maybe as you read it, you’ll feel a little bit seen and heard, just like I spoke about earlier.
Kim: You spoke at the beginning about not knowing that self-love was a theme when you were growing up, and I resonate with that. Why do you feel the messages in your book are so important for our readers who don’t know they can heal themselves or achieve a state of self-love?
Susan: I want everyone to see that, on some level, it’s possible. Self-care is such a catchphrase now, and those expressions can feel slightly irritating. Like,
“I’m busy. Stop telling me to take care of myself.”
“I have my children or my job or whatever it is. How do you expect me to take a bubble bath in the middle of all this?”
But it’s not about that. It’s this forgiveness, accepting where you’ve been and what you’ve been through, and then knowing there’s still a chance to turn that inner critic and be kinder to yourself. It doesn’t mean you’re going to be happy 100% of the time; that’s not even a real thing. It doesn’t mean that all your problems are solved. What it means is, that instead of calling yourself a jerk when something happens, turn that language around and say, “This happened. What did I get from this? What can I do next?” It’s just that subtle shift in how we respond to ourselves, and I think that ultimately helps when you’re responding to others as well.
‘Say One Kind Thing; Lessons in Acceptance, Love and Letting Go’ lets you know there’s trauma, growth and healing in many different ways and levels.
Kim: Returning to the ‘I AM’ book series for a moment. What change would you love to see these books bring into children’s lives?
Susan: I feel kids need to learn from a young age how to communicate with each other, how to communicate with the people in their lives, how to advocate for themselves, how to be authentically who they are and love who they are and speak to that. To act on that but also how to see that in another, not just yourself.
I think there was a point when I wrote, ‘I AM Human; Book of Empathy’. It was at a time when adults in the world who were present, on TV, and everywhere seemed to have forgotten how to talk to each other with kindness when they disagreed, and it’s okay to disagree.
I think it is really important to, at a young age, understand that we look and think differently. We don’t always agree, and that’s really what makes life interesting and beautiful.
We can always act with kindness. We can always listen, and we can always choose to be empathetic as opposed to reactive. If you start giving kids language to use about themselves and about the people in their lives, they’ll be able to do that more effectively.
Kim: That’s such a powerful message. So for the parents who are supporting struggling children. What would your advice be to them?
Susan: It’s really difficult when your kids are struggling. It’s hard to function. I’ve talked about this with other mothers and parents who have a child going through something, and I think it’s even worse for the parents and the child sometimes.
I would say first that it’s okay to talk about it. It’s okay to share the struggle with friends and professionals, with someone who can support you. It’s okay to be frustrated. It’s okay to be in your mind sometimes and say, “I just want this to stop.” That doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad parent. But I think it’s noticing your reactions and responses and then being able not to place those on the child. And then, really, just being present with your child.
I don’t think you always have to have the answer for them. I think just sometimes being there is enough in certain moments, and then you’ll know when you need to get more professional help for them or you know what the next step should be. A lot of it is trial and error.
Just be easier on yourself as a parent, then I think it will be a little less challenging to help your child because we often feel like we’re failing in some way.
“Why aren’t we able to fix this, or stop this, or do this?”
“Isn’t that our job?”
“Why am I so tired?”
“Why is this frustrating me?”
Instead of getting upset with yourself, recognize what’s happening and let it go, and just be present with your child.
Kim: Susan, you’re full of powerful messages. I love it. You’re on that journey of creating all this magic for the world, yet challenged in many ways. How did you pull it all together for yourself? Do you have any tips?
Susan: I have to say that kids are a really good reminder, not just mine, but whenever I go. One of my favourite things about writing children’s books is being able to go to schools and talk to kids, and they remind me of the work that I still have to do. Like when they asked me things. I am talking about mindfulness and breathing, whatever. And they ask, “Are you always mindful? Do you always take a deep breath?” Uh, no, I am not. I’m still working on all of that. It’s just the journey we’re all on together, and these are the things you can grab onto.
Writing ‘Say One Kind Thing; Lessons in Acceptance, Love and Letting Go‘ was challenging. At certain points during it, I thought, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I’m talking about this or sharing this part of myself”. But I had to have these conversations with myself about being transparent and vulnerable. Because if I wasn’t going to do that, then what was the point? I don’t want to be afraid to share or talk about it. There’s no shame, and I was shaming myself, so that was a thing I had to push through. I’ve hit those moments all along in my life, and they’re really good reminders of my strength, the tools I can reach for, and my humaneness.
Kim: I agree that this is such an important lesson. We need to be okay with our humaneness, so thank you for speaking to that. So, where can we find your books?
Susan: Yes. In bookshops. And you can also order from Amazon and all those other places like that. They should be available wherever books are.
Kim: As a storyteller, how important do you feel storytelling is from a personal perspective out in the world, and how important is it for people to hear other people’s stories? And to witness them in their truth?
Susan: It’s of the utmost importance. It’s the most important thing you have to not only share your story and your truth but also listen to take in other people’s stories and give space for others to share their stories. That is one of the most important ways we’re going to find that humaneness in each other. If we’re not listening to other people’s stories, we’re not understanding their experiences. We’re not recognizing what we have in common and what we can do to help change circumstances and work against systems put in place.
And also, you’re missing out on the beauty of everyone and all the various experiences in the world.
Susan, what is your fierce truth?
My fierce truth is that I’m a really vulnerable human. I used to think that was not a good thing, but it can be very powerful. So, I’ve learned not to shame myself for that, but to lean into being open, being in my truth, and doing the best I can.
Fierce Truths Magazine
- Fierce Truths Magazine
- Fierce Truths Magazine
- Fierce Truths Magazine
- Fierce Truths Magazine
