Creating a positive internal representation of ourselves is a challenge for many of us. Whether it’s negative self-talk, or that niggly voice in your mind that is telling you that you need to do more and that you are wasting your time, or perhaps it’s the quick-fire backhanded comments, that flow from your mind and start a negative spiral, of inner critic chatter, each time that you catch a glimpse of your reflection.
Whether it’s the immediate change in body language when someone starts talking about you in the room or even when they are singing your praises, you feel uncomfortable and immediately want to make yourself sound, look and feel smaller.
Cultivating a positive relationship with your body and internal self-talk is not an overnight process. It is a journey of consistency and dedication, utilising small opportunities to redirect existing thought patterns. It requires a decision to put yourself first and to nourish yourself as the priority every time. This defining decision, once activated, is best supported by continual micro decisions in your everyday life, which allow you to choose the options that move you forward towards this decision, even in the slightest way. This re-training process builds up your internal resilience against the embedded negative response pattern and integrates a kindness-first approach towards yourself.
In a world where input is the primary currency and where we are constantly consuming something- from a podcast to a voice note, advertisements, media and more, from the moment we open our eyes (sometimes even while we are sleeping!). Now more than ever, it is time to recognise the present reality of our relationship with self. We need to be present in our thoughts and aware of the loving and nurturing that can be done and to nourish the critical relationship that we have with our mind, body, and soul. You’ve heard it before, and it is still just as valid that you must look after yourself first. Love yourself to be able to love others, feel good about yourself to feel good towards others, nourish yourself and notice how genuinely you can show up for others if you so choose.
To arrive in a space where loving yourself becomes the first response takes constant reframing of not only your external language but also your internal dialogue. Being present in each moment to catch your inner critic, if they show up, in the moment and to redirect any self-negativity. Using in-the-moment action to turn frustration into motivation and to continue to keep yourself accountable and on track towards your desired goal. Rather than the alternative and often easier option of short-term satisfaction. It is sometimes easier to pick ourselves apart and choose a negative or dismissive emotion rather than an emotion of love and support towards ourselves.
Overhauling your existing processes, procedures, patterns, and habits can be overwhelming. Start small and start one dedicated area at a time. You may choose negative self-talk, for example. If you find yourself often in a negative thought loop about one thing in particular, create a new pattern.
Let’s use body image as an example. Let’s say that each morning, when you brush your teeth, you glance over to the mirror in the bathroom, and the negativity begins. Your inner critic rises to the challenge, and you start to fire negative comments. Your pattern may be to recognise that this is happening, take a deep breath, out loud or in your mind say something like, “Thank you, inner critic, you are no longer welcome here; I am going to have a great day” and blow yourself a kiss in the mirror.
This simple and quick process is enough to start rewiring the subconscious thought patterns and create a new pathway to positivity in your mind. Find your way and tailor the above to something realistic and feels good to you. No judgment here. Committing to loving yourself fiercely and unconditionally is committing to the journey that is associated. The journey is not linear, and yes, it is still worth it. Embrace the challenges and celebrate the small wins along the way, as they will all compound into big breakthroughs. Remember to enjoy the journey. You are your own best investment, and loving yourself is the best gift that you could ever receive.
Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
Jasmine Gatt is an Intuitive Self Love Coach, Reiki Master, psychic intuitive, hypnosis, NLP & ECT practitioner. Jasmine believes that returning home to ourselves and creating a loving relationship with self is the way forward. With an open heart, she continues to learn and grow, constantly seeking more knowledge and new pathways to guide herself and others.
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
