We are the first to discount ourselves. It is a protection strategy because if we discount ourselves first, then we get in before others discount us. We protect ourselves (ego) by bringing ourselves down.
We set the bar, the standard for how we allow others to treat us. This isn’t only an external appearance; our external reality is a direct reflection of our internal standards. Hold yourself in the highest regard.
If you wouldn’t speak to a friend or a stranger in the way your internal chatter speaks to you, it is time for a cleanup. Overhaul that negative Nancy who lives in your mind. I can imagine that she has put out the fire, to a few of your ideas, in the past.
Allow love and kindness to be your primary currency. Does this mean we ignore the parts of ourselves that we would like to improve? No. It means that we set our goals in a way that honours and accepts our present state and moves forward with a momentum that excites and ignites us.
The value of choosing ourselves first means we unconsciously permit those around us to do the same. When we come first, we don’t project an unconscious unmet need that plays out in our reality- ‘cue the ‘I’m not good enough’ limiting belief soundtrack- thanks, DJ’.
The conscious choice of choosing yourself means you no longer invest your time by seeking external validation from others. This allows you more time and space to put towards doing the things that will move you forward. It also allows us the grace of turning down the noise. When we are grounded in a space of uncertainty and disconnect within self, then we are more easily influenced by others. Whereas, when we feel grounded and connected within self, the opinions, views and projections from outside of ourselves don’t feel as impactful.
We can see things from a balanced and more productive perspective.
It is essential to understand that making yourself a priority and choosing to honour yourself first is not selfish. It does not mean that others now miss out. It does mean that you can now serve from a place of love and authenticity. You are leaving resentment and the feeling of obligation behind.
When you are fulfilling your potential and truly looking after yourself, you are in the best possible position to help and support others. We’ve all heard the statement ‘put on your own oxygen mask first’.
So, you can see the value in choosing yourself first. Now what? We know it is a game changer, we know it is what we need to do, and we know that it will make us feel good, but how do we make it work? Cue, ‘I’m too busy to take time for myself’.
Choosing yourself first comes in many different shapes and sizes, and most importantly, it is a very personal fit. Some days it may look like setting strong boundaries. Others it can be reframing negative self-talk. The next it could look like turning down social commitments.
Choosing yourself first can look like blasting your favourite songs in the car and enjoying a shameless boogie. It may be an act that takes 2 minutes or 2 hours. You choose. You are in the driver’s seat. Act intuitively, recognise your own cues and take action to ensure that you are getting what you need so that you can continue showing up.
By holding our own highest standard, we set the clear intention, that we won’t accept anything less from others. We give permission to ourselves and those around us to prioritise ourselves. We spread the loving energy far and wide that a fulfilled and purposeful being is in the best position to serve others. By embracing the value of choosing ourselves, we act from and lead with love.
By honouring the value of choosing you, you choose all of those around you, too.
Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
Jasmine Gatt is an Intuitive Self Love Coach, Reiki Master, psychic intuitive, hypnosis, NLP & ECT practitioner. Jasmine believes that returning home to ourselves and creating a loving relationship with self is the way forward. With an open heart, she continues to learn and grow, constantly seeking more knowledge and new pathways to guide herself and others.
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
- Jasmine Gatt, Our Expert
